Sep 05 2008
The Childfree Rights of Grandparents
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/25705812/
God forbid that not all grandparents make their first grandchild the center of their life. I mean, the couple in their 50’s could very well have lives of their own - God forbid that, too. It is good to see that our child-centered culture is finally being challenged by some people with common sense. Dr. Saltz has common sense, too. She says that babies “aren’t infinitely interesting to everyone,” and they are not.
I consider an adult who has made some real contributive achievement to the world to be more interesting. Saltz further states that it can be very lonely for new parents when they discover not everyone is as excited and baby-centered as they themselves are. Again this is common sense. I love and adore my husband but it would be unrealistic for me to expect everyone else around me to “take part” in this feeling. In this particular case I would not want anyone taking part, period. My husband is mine. People who become new parents, that is their child. It is unnecessary to share that with the world.
Hey, more than half the world doesn’t even know what he looks like so that is not going to break my heart. But these new parents seem to think the entire world should stop spinning for their new child.
Saltz continues to say that it is unlikely the child will make extended family the center of his or her interest - assuming babies are even capable of such an intimate interest with extended family. “Love without smothering” is the key here and while many new parents today do not have a clue here - they smother the child and don’t give the kid any space of their own, thus the popular phrase “helicopter parenting” - they are not doing their child any favors.
It is fine if the grandparents are aware they have a grandchild but really, where is it engraved that the grandparents have to make the child the center of their life? It isn’t. For those people who found it the greatest challenge to have babies and rear children, and have now passed that milestone, those people have a right to their own lives without being imposed upon by the baby fetishists.
