Pendragons Princess

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-476669/Angels-savages–children.html

Angels or savages - who would have children?

A new book is causing a storm of controversy by labelling children as annoying and pointless - a charge made all the more inflammatory by the fact that its author is a mother. Entitled No Kid: 40 Reasons Not To Have Children, Corinne Maier’s book has sparked fury in France, where it was published.

Here, Corinne argues her “no kid” case while another mum, Ursula Hirschkorn, stands firm for parenthood.

Corinne Maier, 43, a writer, who lives with her boyfriend Yves, 45, a psychiatrist, daughter Laure, 13, and son Cyrille, 10, in Brussels, argues her case.

Children are just too much work. They just aren’t worth the hassle. Parents today are put under so much pressure to bring up perfect children, but what’s the point?

They are just walking problems to which you constantly have to find solutions.

The world is in the grip of baby mania, with celebrities flaunting their pregnant bellies in magazines, live births on TV and everyone demanding the right to have a baby at any cost.

To be a la mode, the must-have accessory is a baby.

If you can’t make your own, then a whole business has sprung up to service your needs and now as long as you’ve got the cash, you can buy IVF, eggs, sperm or even children.

Anyone who dares to be different and suggest that being child-free is the better option is vilified as immature or selfish.

It’s a brave woman who will stand up for her right not to have children.
Let’s start at the beginning with my first reason for being anti-children: labour is torture.

Even with anaesthetic it’s the worst pain you’ll ever feel. Anyone who tells you it will be a beautiful experience is lying. It’s more like that scene from the film Alien, where the monster bursts from an astronaut’s stomach.

Then there’s breastfeeding. Everyone tells you breast is best, but no one tells you it hurts like hell. If you opt out and bottle-feed you’re made to feel guilty for “going against nature”.

Get over these early hurdles and you hit the big one: how to keep your child amused and happy.

This will fast become one of your most hated jobs. The moment you give birth you can forget leisurely lie-ins, last-minute trips or a spontaneous roll in the hay with your partner.

Instead, your weekends revolve around being woken at the crack of dawn to traipse around the zoo or watch minimum wage actors cavort in cartoon costumes at Disneyland; sitting through stupid kids’ films and eating in “child friendly” restaurants. In my opinion this alone is reason enough not to have a child.

But perhaps the weekends aren’t so bad when you look at the monotony that is the life of a working mother.

Your career is on hold in a dull job, because it’s the only way you can get out of work on time to pick up your children from school or take a day off when they get sick.

I stayed for years in a job that bored me - as an economist - just so I could get out early to pick my children up.

I worked all day, and then came home to shopping, cooking, cleaning and hours of homework, and all so my kids could treat me like a maid. It was so boring.

Being a working mum is like being in prison, but there’s no time off for good behaviour and no electronic tags you can wear for a brief trip back to the freedom you’ve given up for your offspring.

I found the hardest thing to give up when I had my children was my personal freedom.

There is no time left to be you any more. If I hadn’t had them, I would have spent my money travelling the world. I could enjoy my money, rather than being stuck at home waking them up every day in time for school.

Once you have children, there is no space for spontaneity any more. We tried to go to an art exhibition last weekend which we’d been looking forward to for ages, but we had to take the kids along and they hate art.

They whined so much that we gave up and left without seeing anything.

If you thought your friends would help you get through parenthood, then you’ve got another thing coming. When your friends have children, conversation shrinks to how “Oscar’s using the potty now” or “Alice slept the whole night”.

Nothing is more mind-numbingly boring than “mummy talk”.

Make no mistake, bringing up children is war, and you’re on the losing side.
Every time you plan a little escape they will undermine you. Just as you are off to bed with your partner, they’ll throw up; the one night you book a babysitter they’ll come down with a fever; on your birthday they’ll throw a tantrum as you’re stepping out of the door - you just can’t win.

Perhaps this is why children are such effective passion killers. Take my advice, if you want to stay together, avoid baby-making.

What hope is there of a fulfilling sex life when a woman is forced to turn into a fat, deformed animal decked out in sack-like dresses?

Far from the beautiful images on the front of magazines, the ugly reality usually means a long cold spell between the sheets.

Even once the baby is born, nights punctuated by feeds and a crying baby leave you so exhausted that any thawing in that department is a long way off.

As you bid adieu to your sex life, your relationship is quick to follow. You go from being a couple to being Mummy and Daddy.

Your job as a parent comes first, and the romance in your lives is replaced by DIY and dusting.

Now, my boyfriend Yves and I are parents first and a couple second. Our relationship hasn’t been the same since we had children and I miss the romance.

Of course, millions of parents will read this and get all defensive and think that it’s all worth it because those angels of theirs are sweethearts. But they’re not: they’re little savages.

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I give Corrine a lot of credit for coming clean about what it is like to raise children: she openly challeneges the stereotypes that “Children are blessings from God”, “Children make your life fulfilled”, and similar comments. Even though she has two kids of her own, having put them ahead of her boyfriend Yves, it is a big sacrifice she made for her kids. Incidences like this may very well explain why men in a relationship start seeking for love elsewhere from another woman: because the wife/girlfriend is too busy taking care of children, and she has next to no time to give the man in her life any care or attention.

The book sounds good in itself, and according to Amazon.com, it will be released in paperback format in March 2009, translated into English from French. Corinne hits the nail on the head in referring to our modern world as being in the middle of “baby mania” and calling the babies the latest must-have “accessory.” Maybe celebrities need such an accessory but regular working folks like myself do not. Even though Corrine is a childed person, she deserves credit for her honesty in what it is like to raise children.