Pendragons Princess

http://www.drphil.com/slideshows/slideshow/4973/?id=4973&slide=0&showID=1221&preview=&versionID=

So this couple says while appearing on the Tuesday, June 16 episode of Dr. Phil:

“I feel I’m at my wit’s end with the whole household because the boys are out of control. It’s constant battling, fighting,” says Melissa. “Rob has a whole different set of rules for Brandon than he does for his own boys.”

“There’s no consistency with having rules for all three of them,” says Robert. “Brandon does not have any rules, and Melissa does not follow through on giving him any rules.”

“Every time I try to make rules, it just seems to fall apart,” Melissa explains. “I’m powerless because I’m the step-mom. Rob overrides everything that I say.”

Melissa thinks she knows the reason her household has reeled out of control. “This whole house is on marijuana,” she says. “My son, Brandon, uses marijuana every single day.”
“I won’t ever stop smoking weed,” says 20-year-old Brandon. “It’s just natural. It grows out of he ground.”

Fifteen-year-old Jacob says, “Brandon smokes marijuana, and my dad just let’s it go.”

“I do feel hypocritical,” says Robert. “I smoked pot at their age, and that could be part of the problem.”

Are Melissa and Robert’s sons the only ones picking up the pipe? Melissa thinks not. “I suspect Rob is using marijuana. I was putting groceries in Rob’s vehicle, and I found marijuana seeds, marijuana flakes,” she says. “It was marijuana.”

Melissa and Robert say they have so many issues they’re afraid they might be headed for divorce. Robert says their problems stem from their kids. The couple shares their list of grievances.

“Everything seems impossible to me right now. It’s pure chaotic hell in this house,” says Melissa. “A few months ago, Ben and Jacob did steal the company car and went joy riding.”

“Jacob has a 13-year-old girlfriend. He sleeps over at his girlfriend’s house,” says Rob.

“Brandon and Rob’s relationship’s horrible,” says Melissa. “You never know when somebody’s going to break into a fistfight.”

But the kids are not the only source of conflict in this blended family. Robert says, “Melissa is extremely jealous and insecure.”

“Rob spends way too much money,” says Melissa. “I feel I’m not woman enough for Rob any longer.”

Dr. Phil asks Robert, “Why do you want to be here today? What’s your objective, what’s your goal?”

“My number one goal is to get help for my family, and to repair my marriage,” he says.

“If it’s just you and the two boys, would everything be OK?” asks Dr. Phil. “Is this the toxic part of this situation?”

“No, I think I’m as much to blame as she is,” says Robert. “I really do.”

Dr. Phil asks for Melissa’s opinion. “Is it just we’ve got a bad mix here?”

“No, I don’t feel we have a bad mix,” she says. “I came into this household trying to straighten it out and make rules, and if I would leave him, I think the boys would be in more trouble than they are now, because I try to put a little bit of ground rules down.”
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There are very few families nowadays that are not mixed - stepchildren, stepparents, “everyone is an uncle”, and so on. But this is not to say that a mixed family cannot work out because many times, they can. The problem here is these two big people - Melissa and Robert - have completely forfeited their responsibilities as parents. I love how the father makes excuses for Brandon smoking the wacky weed. Brandon is 20 years old, sits around the house the whole day doing nothing but smoking weed. He doesn’t work and can’t get a job since most companies will not hire someone with an illegal drug addiction. As Dr. Phil says, the three sons are in charge of the household, not the father or mother. This is the prime example of what is going on in America today - people who think their children are snowflakes from seventh heaven then turn a blind eye when their child does something wrong. Then we have Jacob, the 13 year old who is sexually active with a girl. Well, there really isn’t too much that can be said for that, since America’s children are becoming sexually active at younger and younger ages. But, this is what happens when the parents are too busy trying to be best buddies with their offspring. Interestingly enough, neither Melissa nor Robert claim to be each other’s best friends. No wonder they look to their kids for that sort of relationship, even though it damages both parties involved.

One last excerpt from the interview:

“Melissa says she and Robert need to be better communicators. “We need to stick together for the boys. Like, my son, the 20-year-old, he pretty much controls me. Like, if I say no to him, then he’s violent. He hasn’t hit me or anything, but he gets angry.” She reiterates what Brandon said, that he’s never going to stop smoking marijuana. “So, how do we straighten out this family? I mean, I bought him three cars, I give him everything, and I just stopped paying his bills about eight months ago. He hasn’t paid one.”

Once again, the “I give my kids everything and they are still lazy slobs” syndrome rears its ugly head. I wonder if Melissa and Robert realize they deliberately set themselves and their sons up to fail? Luckily Dr. Phil gives both the parents straight F’s on their report cards. neither Melissa nor Robert have realized quite yet that merely talking to their spawn does no good at all. Of course, if they really cared, the first thing they would do is call the cops. But no, they can’t, since their snowflakes would then have felon records for the rest of their lives. Before the kids can be straightened out, the parents need to be straightened out. If they can’t, their marriage will wind up in divorce, with their kids winding up in jail