Aug 22 2009
Does Facebook Hate Babies?
I think they just hate the potential danger some parents put their child in:
http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1917878,00.html
Why Does Facebook Hate Babies?
by Joel Stein, August 21, 2009
Facebook hates babies. I found this out last night when I logged on as Laszlo Stein, my three-month old son who has been faithfully posting adorable photos and angry commentary since his second-trimester sonogram, back when his listed interests were just kicking and drinking his own urine. In his time on Facebook, he threatened to pee on some, cut others and once posted — next to a photo of him gummily smiling and wearing a kimono — this response to my wife’s friend Nancy’s comment that she met another baby named Laszlo: “OMG! That’s so awesome! We should form a Facebook group! Just kidding. I don’t give a crap, you loser. Get a life.” More than once, he commented on the photo of another baby with “I’d hit that.”
But last night when I logged in, all I got was a page that said, “Account disabled.” Now, I know Facebook has a rule that you have to be over 13, and I guess some loser at Facebook is paid to look around for accounts with photos of people under 13. I’m sure Facebook does this to protect kids from pedophiles, and yet the surest way for a pedophile to find a kid would be to get a job at Facebook looking for kids’ accounts. (Read “Does Facebook Replace Face Time or Enhance It?”)
All I wanted was to avoid being one of those annoying parents who post photos of their kids on their own page. I wanted a place for the few family and friends who want to see his baby pictures. And now all the photos other people posted of Laszlo are gone, and I have to e-mail every damn photo to our parents and siblings. I wish Facebook had given me some kind of warning so I could have archived all this stuff or transferred it to the Facebook application Baby Book, which I found out about too late and is oddly O.K. with Facebook even though it’s exactly the same as Laszlo having his own page.
You can still do right, Facebook, by giving me back his page for a day so I can transfer it, and no longer be known as a baby hater. You know how to contact me. On Facebook.
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“Ohhh wheeee! Look at my baby! Isn’t he so kayouuuutee!” Well, what other possible reason would someone have for plastering their child’s photo on Facebook? Do they really think the rest of the world will be obsessed with their child? I didn’t think so. Well, the pedophiles might, but they are an exception. But you know how big some people are about fambly. Facebook should be for, and remain for, adults, not crotchdumps. Forget about fambly, too - if you want a site for that, make your own website. Even I don’t plaster photos of myself and husband all over the Internet. That’s an invasion of privacy. But I guess the whining parents have to whine about something.