Pendragons Princess

This is a great article:

http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/bigger-picture/articlemc.aspx?cp-documentid=22037279

&gt1=32001

To Breed or Not to Breed?

By Abigail Pesta

Yes, we live in a baby-obsessed nation. When do the tabloids not run craptastic cover stories on Octomom, Kate Gosselin, or Brangelina’s brood? Then there’s the tsunami of celeb-mom photos — Kate Hudson, Halle Berry, Gwen Stefani, toting their stylish tots like the latest It bag. It’s enough to make a childless woman feel like an alien. “There’s a stigma, especially if women are childless by choice instead of by circumstance,” says Laura S. Scott, the 47-year-old married and kid-free author of the new book Two Is Enough. “Childlessness is perceived as being selfish, with a tragic outcome — you’ll die alone with 10 cats.” But sometimes having babies isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. We asked Scott — who talked to experts, parents, and 171 childless folk for her book — to bust myths about parenthood.

ALL WOMEN HAVE THE MATERNAL INSTINCT. “We think we’ll get this burning urge,” Scott says. “But many women never feel a desire to have kids, ever.”

PARENTHOOD MAKES YOU A BETTER PERSON. “Better than who? Oprah? Gandhi?”

PARENTING IS, BY DEFINITION, REWARDING. For many, yes. For all? No. Says Scott, “Dr. Phil surveyed 20,000 parents, and a third of them said that if they knew then what they know now, they probably wouldn’t have started a family.”

IT’S DIFFERENT WHEN THEY’RE YOURS. “If you don’t like being around kids, you’re unlikely to be more tolerant if they’re yours — especially when they throw a fit at Walmart.”

PARENTING IS THE PATH TO MATURITY. “Our parents were raised to think this, and society clings to the notion,” says Scott. “But let’s face it: Having kids doesn’t guarantee mature behavior.” Ever see a dad go berserk on a Little League ref?

A BABY WILL STRENGTHEN THE MARRIAGE. “Research shows that marital satisfaction goes way down — particularly for women — after the birth of the first child,” she says. “It doesn’t return to honeymoon levels till the kids leave home.”

YOU’LL REGRET NOT HAVING KIDS. “Studies don’t show any widespread regret among the childless by choice. A lot of thought goes into the decision,” says Scott. And if you need a kid fix, you can always be a mentor.

KIDS OFFER SECURITY WHEN YOU’RE OLD. “Grown children are often hundreds of miles away,” Scott notes. “To really guarantee your well-being, long-term health insurance is a better bet.”

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We really do live in a baby-and pregnancy- centered society. For proof, I went to the the mall a few days ago and right by the entrance, I see a young Asian woman and as soon as she sees me, she starts to rub her very pregnant belly. Uh huh, like I was at all interested in that. Oh, she got the attention from me, but not the good type of attention. But back to the article: our society is in love with babies and small children (so are pedophiles, but that’s for another post) and once the reality of having a child hits the woman square in the face when she has to get up at 2:00 AM for a feeding, she is not going to singing and dancing while feeding a hungry baby. She will be yelling at the kid, “Why did you wake me up at this hour?!” I love the response to “parenting is a path to maturity”, to which can also be added, the parents fight like two five year olds over how to raise the child. Maturity, my ass. All a child proves is that their privates are in working order - and that most certainly is not love.

But so much for unconditional love. Speaking of unconditional love, my hubby and I are celebrating our childfreeness tonight with chicken stir fry and a peaceful, quiet evening loving each other - one thing childed people never have time for when a child is involved.